How does therapy work anyway?


To put it in a nutshell, the process of therapy is about becoming self aware. The reason why it’s called “work” is because it requires concentrated focus and willingness to look at the underlying unconscious motivations and patterns of our lives, which is often very painful and intense. For you to be able to do this, you must feel completely safe, cherished, and free from judgement…. only then can the “shift” happen. The “shift” is moving from a place of reacting to your life, driven by unconscious forces, to a place of consciously choosing your behaviors based on a deep knowledge of yourself and who you really want to be.


A therapist is crucial to this process, because human beings are often blind to our own weaknesses. For many of us, those weaknesses have been sore points that may have been exploited or used to shame us. So…our brains hijack us and push all of those painful parts below the surface, and we engage in all sorts of distractions, addictions, and defenses to keep those places hidden….and thus a vicious cycle is born, where we unconsciously hide the very things we need to heal….the very same things that keep bringing us pain…


But….in the presence of a compassionate, affirming counselor, we feel safe enough to let these wounds come to the surface, trusting that we wont be shamed or attacked or judged….but genuinely cared for and guided to uncover the sore spots and let them heal in the Light of day.


What are you looking for in a therapist?

A fact that many find surprising about therapy is what the most important indicator of successful treatment is....
It's not education...
It's not specialty...
It's not prestige...
It's not even experience...

Yes...the single most important indicator of successful therapy is the "fit" between you and your therapist!
Is your therapist someone who you are comfortable being completely open and honest with?
Does s/he "get" you?
Do you sense a genuineness....
Is s/he "real"?

These conditions are a necessity for a successful therapeutic connection....without them, it is impossible to do the deep and soulful work that psychotherapy entails.
The factors that contribute to making that connection with a therapist are as diverse and varied as are the people seeking them.... And for each unique person there is the right therapist....

Eclectic Therapy rooted in Authenticity

One of the questions I am asked most often is "What kind of therapist are you? Are you a cognitive behavioral therapist? A psychoanalytic therapist? Addictions? Trauma? LGBT?"
Eclectic therapy refers to the different techniques and therapeutic tools that I draw upon in the course of treatment. I don't believe in a "one size fits all" model of psychotherapy. Therapy is an art as well as a science...and one of the challenges of this art lies in attuning one's self to the needs of the client, and adjusting the practice accordingly it always helps to have more than a few tools on hand!
I have studied a wide variety of therapeutic techniques and philosophies over the course of the past 25 plus years in this field, and I can say with certainty that all of them are good....and all of them have their limitations.


But none of them can claim to heal. Only an authentic relationship does that.



(732) 955-6178



Office locations in

East Brunswick and Highland Park, New Jersey